Common Concerns · Sexual Health
Sex therapy, where nothing is too awkward to say.
Sex and intimacy are a real part of wellbeing, yet they're often the hardest things to talk about, especially in families and cultures where they're rarely discussed at all. Whether it's low desire, pain, performance worries or a mismatch with your partner, you're not alone, and these concerns are very treatable.
Our sex therapy is led by Dr. Yishan Xu, a certified sex therapist, and is offered to individuals and couples in English and Mandarin, online or in person.
Signs it might be time to talk to someone
Sexual concerns show up in many ways. You might notice some of these:
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In your body
- Low or mismatched desire
- Pain during sex
- Difficulty with arousal or erections
- Difficulty reaching orgasm
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In your mind
- Pressure or anxiety about performance
- Shame or guilt about sex
- Feeling disconnected from your body
- Worrying that something is wrong with you
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In your relationship
- Avoiding intimacy
- Arguments about how often
- Feeling more like roommates
- Changes after a baby, an illness or fertility treatment
Sexual concerns are common at every age and stage of life. If they're causing distress for you or your partner, it's worth talking to someone. When medical factors could be involved, your clinician will also suggest a check-up with your doctor.
Concerns we help with
Low desire and desire differences
When one or both of you want sex less, or far more, than the other.
Erectile and arousal difficulties
Trouble becoming or staying aroused, often tangled up with worry.
Pain during sex
Pain that makes intimacy something to dread rather than enjoy.
Orgasm difficulties
Difficulty reaching orgasm, or reaching it sooner than you'd like.
Sexual anxiety and shame
Messages about sex learned long ago that still get in the way today.
Intimacy through fertility and new parenthood
Keeping closeness alive through IVF, pregnancy and life with a baby.
How we help
Sex therapy is talk therapy, tailored to you, drawing on approaches with strong research behind them.
Sex therapy
Talk-based therapy focused on sexual concerns, with practical exercises to try at home, at your own pace.
Cognitive behavioral approaches
Ease performance anxiety and the unhelpful beliefs that keep sex stressful.
Mindfulness-based approaches
Reconnect with sensation and pleasure, and quiet the inner critic.
Couples work
Rebuild closeness, communication and touch together.
Working with your doctor
When medical factors play a part, we encourage a check-up and, with your permission, can coordinate with your physician.
In the language you think in
Sessions in English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean or Spanish, depending on the clinician.
Clinicians who focus on sexual health
Each of these clinicians lists sexual health among their areas of focus. Look for someone whose languages and approach feel right to you.
See all clinicians who focus on sexual healthQuestions about sex therapy
Something else on your mind? Our FAQ covers much more, and our intake team is always happy to talk it through.
Does sex therapy involve anything physical?
No. Sex therapy is talk therapy. There is never any physical contact or undressing in sessions. Any exercises your clinician suggests are for you to try privately, at home, only if you choose to.
Do we need to come as a couple?
No. Many people come on their own, and many come as a couple. Your clinician will help you decide what fits your situation.
Is what I'm experiencing common?
Very. Sexual concerns affect people of every age, gender and background, and they often change with stress, health, parenthood and age. You don't need to feel embarrassed about bringing them up here.
What if the cause is medical?
Sex is shaped by both body and mind, so your clinician may suggest seeing your doctor to rule out medical factors. Therapy often helps alongside medical care.
Can I have sessions in Mandarin or Cantonese?
Yes. Many of our clinicians speak Mandarin, and some speak Cantonese, Korean or Spanish. On Our Team you can filter clinicians by language.
Will insurance cover sex therapy?
Coverage depends on your plan and on what you're seeking help with. It's worth asking your insurer what's covered before your first session; our intake team can tell you what to ask and explain our fees clearly. FSA and HSA cards are accepted.
Whenever you're ready, we're here.
- Reach outSend us a short message, or call or text (650) 434-2563. We reply within one business day.
- A free 15-minute callOur care team listens, answers your questions about cost and insurance, and suggests clinicians who fit.
- Your first sessionMany people meet their clinician within one to two weeks. The first session is mostly about getting to know each other, at your pace.
If you're in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, please call or text 988 any time, day or night. In an emergency, call 911.
